Corrupt a Wish

[Annabelle Hennessy]

granted, but it only rains on you, no matter where you go, even inside. And forget the umbrella, then the rain starts blowing at you sideways. Soon, you have to leave your computer and house and everything in fear of flooding and destroying all your belongings. You are forced to become a cold miserable wet bum sitting on a street corner alone, without even a fire for comfort.

I wish I would get an A in both my classes.

[Dare Blackwood-Hardt]

Granted, but when it is discovered just after finals that your instructors were part of a widespread faculty mob-type conspiracy, your college is audited and discredited, leaving your A's null and void.

I wish I could pause and restart time.

[Verity Bromley]

Your wish has been granted with one of these suckers:

the only thing is that you end up restarting time so much that you are stuck reliving the same boring life and you never get anywhere. The remote malfunctions and instead of restarting time from the start of your life, you go back to the Italian Renaissance where there were no computers and you will never be able to communicate with us here on Magikal ever again.

I wish that my face didn't look like a tomato

[Dare Blackwood-Hardt]

Granted. Your face now looks like a baboon's behind.

I wish that I could apparate!

[Verity Bromley]

Granted. But you left your left leg in China and they are now using it torment pandas.

I wish the sun would come out. Tomorrow.

[Dare Blackwood-Hardt]

Granted, but you not only get another sunburn from it, but it's a super-sunburn and lasts the rest of the summer.

I wish I didn't need to sleep.

[Verity Bromley]

Granted. But everyone else does need to sleep all day every day so you will never have anyone to play with.

I wish the sun never burned.

[Dare Blackwood-Hardt]

Granted, the sun stops burning, which throws the earth into darkness and a cold so bitter that all life on earth is extinguished. Good job with that one, Verity.

I wish I was *close* with Jared Leto, the lead singer of 30 Seconds to Mars.

[Verity Bromley]

OH IS THAT WHO JARED LETO IS?! REALLY? hehe jk

Granted but you are only close by physical means and not emotional attraction because someone has tied the two of you up back to back and rolled you down the side of a moment. So while Jared Leto is unconscious and possibly dead, you are just in a great amount of pain and suffering.

[Dare Blackwood-Hardt]

(I was making sure you didn't stick me with some nasty pedo serial killer named Jared Leto or something)

And since you didn't wish for anything, I'll grant you a freebie. You're the one who has to nurse us both back to health.

I wish I had a watermelon!

[Verity Bromley]

ohh right. because i probably would.

Granted but its dropped from a tall building and falls on your head and goes splat.

I wish I had Freddie Mercury right here so we could sing and have dance parties.

[Annabelle Hennessy]

Granted, but he has the plague and is bedridden and the whole house is quarantined and you can't go out into your sun or anything and it is only a matter of time before you get the plague too.

I wish I had the best maid ever cleaning my house weekly for me.

[Verity Bromley]

Granted but she steals everything including your identity and no one ever believes that you are who you say you are anymore.

I wish I could live at this beach.

[Annabelle Hennessy]

Granted, but your "home" is the nearest hobo trash can. And that cardboard box over there with a skinny little blanket? Yeah those are your only possessions.

I wish Dare could stay here forever!

[Verity Bromley]

Granted but while he is there forever you end up choking on a chicken bone and dying within the next 24 hours.

I wish sand wasn't so tiny and annoying.