Running from Reality

[Samson Callahan Koster]

Samson really wanted to leap up and run to this shop. Maybe it would have muggle books, and maybe he could get a new book to put all his others to shame. But he reigned in his excitement and nodded. "I can wait," he said. Reluctantly, he returned the money to the pouch, then put it safely in his pocket, where the weight was surprisingly comforting, since the gold had been warmed by the sun during the owl's flight. He picked up the little packet he'd taken out to examine instead. "Have you ever used one of these?" he asked.

[Andy Moreau]

Andy peered over at it a moment before realizing what it was. "Oh! Ah, no..." He turned red just at the thought. "It's a condom, right? I only ever saw one on the internet?" And then they were usually blown up and tied into shapes for humorous effect or thumb-tacked to cork boards. Stapled to things. Then there were used ones abandoned places, but that was just gross.

[Samson Callahan Koster]

"Isn't that some muggle thing?" Samson asked, bringing his eyebrows together as he tried to read the miniature instructions on the packet. At least the benevolent Maverick had given him ones that explained what to do. He didn't notice his ears turning red at the little illustrations. His mum would be so pissed if she knew he had some of these, though he couldn't actually imagine why. Probably just because they'd come from his dad.

[Andy Moreau]

"Yeah," Andy said and glanced up from the little square to Samson. "So you're not Muggle-born or anything?" Somehow he'd gotten the idea that Samson was halfblood or something. Maybe because that hadn't come up as much as the whole gays don't actually exist thing. "Can I see it?"

[Samson Callahan Koster]

Samson handed it over, still looking at it curiously and almost...was he feeling shy? That was just stupid. "So far as I know I'm pureblood, or at least that's what my mum always said. I had a couple halfblood and muggle born friends, though." So he'd at least heard terms, if he hadn't experienced them.

[Andy Moreau]

Andy gave a low hm to say he'd heard, then turned over the packet to look at the instructions. He immediately started giggling. "We should open it," he said, a little scandalized. Maybe at his age he should know more, but the problem with spending your time hiding from a~holes was that you didn't really talk to people. "I mean, just to look at," he clarified and tried to look serious.

[Samson Callahan Koster]

Samson's eyes widened briefly, as they met Andy's, then he couldn't help but laugh and duck his head away so that his hair hid his face. "Yeah," he said, "just to see." And maybe mess with it a little. "I've heard guys complaining about them before, it can't be that bad, can it?" Besides, there were a few more in the bag, it wasn't like he would miss one. Not that he had any plans to go off sleeping with people, in the first place.

[Andy Moreau]

Andy shrugged. He had no idea. "Here, I guess it's yours, so you can do it." Andy really, really wanted to open it himself, but he only even got to see one in person because Samson's dad had sent him some out of nowhere. Andy wondered if his dad knew he existed, and if the man would randomly send him some money and condoms one day.

[Samson Callahan Koster]

Samson took the packet and eyed the jagged edges, then ripped one edge off, careful to pull off enough to open it while making sure to leave the instructions intact. Not...not that he planned on actually using the thing. That flush spread toward his cheeks from his ears. "There, you get it out, I opened it," he said, feeling much younger than 14.

[Andy Moreau]

Andy's smile had disappeared, but his eyes were wide as he took the packet. He peered at the instructions, stalling for time and nearly giggling all over again, then poked his fingers inside. "Ew, it's all slimy!" It took a couple tries to get it out of the package and his giggles came back as he dropped the wrapping. "Oh my god, do you have your wand?" More giggling followed the suggestion.

[Samson Callahan Koster]

Samson nodded and pulled it out. It needed a polish and wasn't anything fancy, but it worked well enough. "You want me to clean it off?" he asked, going over the spell for water in his head as he looked at the thing. It looked so strange, he wasn't able to stop joining Andy in the laughing. "This is so weird, how can anyone get turned on, pull this out, and then not just start giggling?"

[Andy Moreau]

Andy's laughter joined Samson's. "I know! Here, hold on a second." He wanted to look at the instructions again. "Um, I think the stuff is all rolled up in it or something, I don't know. Pinch the tip..." More laughter as he did so. "This is so weird, you need to touch it." He held it out.

[Samson Callahan Koster]

Samson reached out and touched it, only to draw back his hand with more laughter. "It feels like the inside of a banana skin," he claimed, then reached out a tentative hand to touch it again and took it in his hands. He wasn't exactly well-versed in what was considered sexy, but he was pretty sure that wasn't it. "Oh my god, it'd be like putting a ziploc on," he said when he stuck a finger inside.

[Andy Moreau]

Andy burst into laughter all over again. "Wouldn't a plastic baggy be cheaper? You could get like three hundred for nothing and not get stared at by the cashier." Andy remembered commercials about a baggy full of bees and one full of liquid so obviously they'd work.

---

Author's note: Baggies wouldn't work. Don't ever try it.

[Samson Callahan Koster]

"Seriously!" The feeling of the whatever-it-was on the thing made him shiver suddenly and he took the time to wash it off, getting rid of the slimy residue. Unrolled all the way, the thing was a strange shape, and he couldn't help but think in horror that if his father had bought these, then he knew how big his dad was. "Ugh, take it, I can't right now."