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Post by Rhys Moreau on Aug 3, 2012 12:10:04 GMT -5
"Right," Rhys said. "God does everything for a reason, right? He doesn't make mistakes." But maybe He does, maybe this is a test, maybe- He closed his eyes momentarily to try to shut out his thoughts. "I'm glad you don't think being gay is a choice. A lot of people do and that...makes it hard." It was nice to see someone so firmly in a religion that didn't immediately condemn him.
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Post by Hyacinth Duprel on Aug 3, 2012 14:19:08 GMT -5
"Yes, like your parents," Hyacinth said carefully. "The Catholic Church says that God does not make mistakes, and it is natural to be gay. It says that we are not to judge, God judges, and God forgives. But it says that the acts are sin. It is difficult. Are the magic acts sin? I should not question God's work, but why is it natural and a sin?" He wished his English was better, wished he could phrase things better, but he supposed the point was the same.
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Post by Rhys Moreau on Aug 3, 2012 14:29:50 GMT -5
"I don't know," Rhys said. He tilted his head curiously at Hyacinth. He didn't know much about the Catholic church and it was incredibly interesting hearing all of this from someone who lived it. "You're struggling with the same things I've been dealing with for a decade, just in a different form. I don't think you should be afraid of performing your magic, though."
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Post by Hyacinth Duprel on Aug 3, 2012 14:33:59 GMT -5
"As you are not afraid?" Hyacinth asked. He didn't know how his eyes pleaded for acceptance, but here were answers he hadn't been able to find elsewhere. Here was someone living as an adult, living in a relationship, whatever God and the Church thought of it, and dealing not only with something he'd been born with, but a new world as well. Rhys didn't seem afraid.
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Post by Rhys Moreau on Aug 3, 2012 15:27:08 GMT -5
But Rhys was afraid, deathly afraid. Should he just tell Hyacinth and risk ruining any good he had done so far in the conversation? "I've been very afraid," he said. Helping someone was worth whatever it might put him personally through. "When I was younger I was so afraid that I tried to change who I was, that I tried to take myself out of this world because I thought it would be easier.
"But I didn't. I pushed through and found happiness, and I'm still working to rid myself of all of that fear because it still comes back and fights. It's hard doing what we're doing, you know?" At least Hyacinth had people that cared about him and were willing to help him adjust to this new life. "Sometimes you have to fake not being afraid until it's true." He still hadn't gotten to that point in his life, though there had been times he felt like he was so close.
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Post by Hyacinth Duprel on Aug 3, 2012 17:49:52 GMT -5
Hyacinth's brows were still drawn together, but he nodded in understanding. Maybe it was okay that he was afraid. He couldn't imagine wanting death, but he had wanted to be saved so badly, and he had wished so hard to be normal. Sometimes you have to fake not being afraid until it's true. "I am happy that God saved you," he said simply.
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Post by Rhys Moreau on Aug 3, 2012 18:13:21 GMT -5
Rhys was once again struck silent. Hyacinth was a gift, whether he realized it or not. He was innocent and spoke the truth as he saw it simply and effectively, something that was hard to find in people above a certain age. How could the simplest sentences hit so close to home? "How do you feel now?" Rhys asked, uncertain how to respond to what Hyacinth had said.
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Post by Hyacinth Duprel on Aug 3, 2012 18:49:03 GMT -5
"I feel better," Hyacinth said. He still had hold of his crucifix, but he released it now, and lowered his gaze as he reached for Remiel. "I will keep the secret," he said. "And I will try not to be afraid." Or at least he'd fake it, the way he'd been faking it.
"Thank you for talking." Rhys had helped more than he probably realized, and as Hyacinth gathered his bag and stood, he gave a small, but genuine smile. He had so much more hope than he'd had only a short time ago, and that was more than enough.
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Post by Rhys Moreau on Aug 3, 2012 18:53:27 GMT -5
"Whenever you need to come talk, just come by," Rhys said. "You could even send an owl if you wanted." The conversation had had nearly as much impact on him as it had on Hyacinth, and Rhys thought that perhaps now he needed to disappear upstairs for a little while. He had a bit of thinking to do.
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