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Post by Markise Sterling on Jun 2, 2011 22:44:33 GMT -5
Dare was making too much sense, and it was so hard for Markise to hold on! It was too much to hear! Dare loved him, really loved him, and whether there was romance attached, whether there was lust and desire attached, wasn't as important to him as he'd thought it was. Dare loved him, and maybe he always had.
God, it was confusing! God, he loved Dare, loved how easily Dare could break him down and pick him back up, how Dare could say the most stupid, bumbling things, say all the wrong things, and still leave him feeling like the most important person in the world.
"I love you," he whispered, the damp trailing down his cheek despite his best efforts. He looked up at last and his eyes caught Dare's, those familiar eyes he loved so much, eyes that hadn't changed no matter how the rest of them had, eyes that saw him somehow, more than they'd seen him before. "I love you."
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Post by Dare Blackwood-Hardt on Jun 2, 2011 23:01:25 GMT -5
"I love you, too," Dare whispered. He wasn't afraid anymore. He'd pushed so hard this past year trying to find himself, to figure out what he wanted and separate it from what anyone else wanted from him, and he'd had it all along. A friend he could be just as casual with, just as intimate with, just as crazy with, as he wanted to be. He could be everything he was without shocking Markise or drawing a roll of the eyes, because they'd grown up together.
Yes, part of him wanted to kiss Markise, he wouldn't lie to himself. Part of him wondered, now that he knew, if he'd feel anything different. Part of him wondered, part of him deep down, where he felt it, but didn't acknowledge it, what it would be like to take Markise to bed. The rest of him was looking down at a friend who could have been a brother. He loved Markise, but he loved him the way they were, the way they'd been all those years ago when they'd been so inseparable.
Those months they'd been more had felt so natural between them, and they'd been what he'd needed then. He'd needed Markise's acceptance of all of him, even that new piece he'd secretly wondered about. He'd needed physical comfort he couldn't get anywhere else. He'd needed someone to cling to as his mother's health deteriorated and his world crumbled. No part of him regretted what they'd been.
"Can we be friends again?" he asked, hoping that would be enough. "Like we used to be?"
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Post by Markise Sterling on Jun 2, 2011 23:07:19 GMT -5
Yes, Markise sobbed, though the word could have been only in his mind as easily as whispered into Dare's neck. He wrapped his arms around Dare's shoulders, shifting to turn toward him, wondering how Dare did this to him, and how it could hurt and still feel so good, so right. God, he loved Dare, in a way he didn't think he could ever love anyone else, but this was enough. This was enough to fill what was missing. He held tightly to Dare, eyes squeezed shut, shuddering slightly with harsh breaths. I love you, I love you. This was what had been missing.
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Post by Dare Blackwood-Hardt on Jun 2, 2011 23:17:43 GMT -5
Dare held Markise back, giving a ragged chuckle at the familiar scent of the same shampoo he still used. Markise's hair was silken curls, and he buried the fingers of one hand there as the other hand wrapped firmly around his slender body. This felt right, so right, and he wouldn't feel guilty about it anymore. This was all it was, and all it had ever really been, all it would ever really be. Michael didn't need to know every detail anymore. He could have his friends, and Michael could trust him.
"I have to tell you something," Dare whispered into Markise's hair. He pressed a light kiss there, the pulled back, looking for Markise's eyes. "Michael and I are having a baby. It's going to be a boy. I want you to be his godfather."
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Post by Markise Sterling on Jun 2, 2011 23:22:15 GMT -5
Markise was too shocked to believe it, and he chuckled as he wiped away a stray tear. "Do people have godparents anymore?" he teased. A baby. Dare was his age, and he was screwing another guy. That left a zero percent chance of spawning, as far as he knew. He chuckled again. "You're kidding, right?" Something tugged at the back of his mind, namely, Michael's rapid and unbalanced weight gain, but it didn't register. It wasn't possible.
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Post by Dare Blackwood-Hardt on Jun 2, 2011 23:26:36 GMT -5
Dare nodded slowly, keeping his eyes on Markise's to show him the truth of it. "We found some obscure magic, like, seriously obscure, that'll let the last Pureblood male of a line... get pregnant. We didn't even tell our parents until Christmas, and he's due in like, two months." He continued to watch Markise. "I sh~ you not, dead f~in serious. Michael is pregnant."
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Post by Markise Sterling on Jun 2, 2011 23:33:45 GMT -5
Markise choked out a short laugh, then another, leaning back against the couch again. Sadly, he believed it, but there was so much inside him, so many emotions, good and bad, that there was no way to deal with them but to laugh or cry, and he'd done enough crying. He laughed, letting it all out, though he felt crazy doing it. He laughed, and laughed until it began to fade to halting chuckles, and finally to a breathless sigh that wanted tears again. He held them back this time.
"I can't believe it," he said. "You're gonna be a dad. In two months?" That was so soon, and he'd been avoiding Dare for so long. "Does it have a name?" So many bizarre things had happened out here, and half the time it felt like he was in a lucid dream or a waking nightmare anyway, so why not this? He looked back at Dare, curiously.
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Post by Dare Blackwood-Hardt on Jun 2, 2011 23:38:59 GMT -5
"Yeah, he has a name," Dare said, and told Markise, the only person besides himself and Michael to know that little detail. "And I don't care if people get godfathers anymore. I don't even know what they do, but I want you to be his godfather. Will you?" It felt right, like so much of this had, asking Markise for that. Silver would be the baby's uncle, and it seemed fitting to pull Markise into the family, to make it official that way.
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Post by Markise Sterling on Jun 2, 2011 23:45:02 GMT -5
Markise laughed, a light, easy sound this time. "Yeah, I'll be godfather to your brat," he teased. "I'm not doing any gross sh~ like diapers, though." He wondered if Ariel would die of shock when he told him, or just threaten to buy a pack of cigarettes. His eyes met Dare's. "I'm telling Ariel," he said. They'd always kept things private without having to say it, instinctively knowing which things were okay to go public and which weren't. Markise knew this wasn't, but he also knew himself, and he knew him and Ariel, and this wasn't going to stay secret.
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Post by Dare Blackwood-Hardt on Jun 3, 2011 0:19:44 GMT -5
Dare sighed and nodded. "Yeah, I know," he replied. He hadn't thought of it, but if they were together after all this time, it made sense, didn't it? He'd have to tell Michael that he and Markise were friends again, that he'd declared him godfather, though there was so much he couldn't say. Michael wouldn't understand, his insecurities would get in the way and life would be an even worse hell than it had seemed lately.
There was nothing to interest him anymore, and he wasn't even giving final exams to his classes. He'd been going slowly insane for months, and now maybe he could just let go for once. "We need to go out," he said, "like we used to. We'll find a group and just go. Get all dressed up and dance until we've gotta crawl home." He looked hopefully at Markise. Please? I need this.
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Post by Markise Sterling on Jun 3, 2011 18:55:54 GMT -5
Markise bit his tongue on the half-desperate yes he wanted to give. If anything would push Ariel to smoke, to flare with high temper, harsh truths, and insults, it would be any suggestion of going out. After he'd danced with Robbie, after those few drinks he'd had, then after the others, it had been hell. And it hadn't helped that he'd been drinking alone again at the time, but the fact that he was sober a few months shy of a year now probably wouldn't help. Even the thought of going pissed Ariel off, and Markise didn't want another rehashing of, Prostitution and cocaine and heroin and smoking all put together aren't as bad as you having a Cosmo. It was bull, pure bull.
"I want to so badly," he told Dare. "I want to, but I can't, Ariel won't let me, and I don't want to leave him alone." He looked away rather than let Dare guess why. He couldn't have fun babysitting Ariel to be sure he didn't crack, any more than he could being babysat so he didn't drink.
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Post by Dare Blackwood-Hardt on Jun 3, 2011 19:15:20 GMT -5
Dare's brows drew together. "F~ Ariel," he declared. "If he can't trust you to go out with your friends after this long, he's not worth it." He realized he was applying his own reasoning and remembered how Markise had babysat Ariel before, unable to do anything without him. "If you can't trust him not to go take Muggle drugs unless you tell him not to, let him go do it. Are you just together to keep each other out of trouble?"
Yes, Dare remembered Markise's alcoholism, but he also knew that alcohol wasn't a necessity for a good time. Dare wasn't about to take Markise out to get drunk, especially with the chance that Brindle would be invited. She used to go with them, so why not now?
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