Some Things Never Change

[Annabelle Hennessy]

His words stung but at the same time soothed. It was a relief to finally know what had really happened. The rumors going around had most of the bare facts, but the feeling, the decisions Chase had had to make were what she had been missing. She took it all in, listening to his words, letting him finish before allowing herself to process them. She slowly allowed her glassy brown orbs to meet his eyes, letting him see the hurt and resignation that consumed her.

"I wanted to hate you. Anger was easier to deal with. It would have been a lot easier if I had stopped thinking and just been mad at you all the time." But she hadn't been able to. That wasn't who she was. The hurt of abandonment was so much stronger in the long run. Anger could only take control for so long before it would exhaust her and she was left with the despair. She hadn't been able to stop caring, stop analyzing every detail. Even through it all, she couldn't forget who she knew Chase could be enough to hate him.

"Even through it all, knowing how horribly it ended, I never wished that we hadn't happened." They hadn't really, they were never in a relationship, hadn't even slept together, but what they had been signified. It was something even if they'd never defined it. She'd wished she'd done some things differently of course, but Anna couldn't truthful wish that she'd never met Chase. As much as it pained her, he had showed her so much of who she was.

[Chase Firebrand]

We. Of all that Anna had said, that was the word that stuck most firmly in his mind. Her hate, her anger made sense. He deserved it. He'd deserved it then and he'd done nothing worth forgiveness for all the mistakes he'd purposefully made. There was no use wishing things had been different because they couldn't have been.

He didn't know what to say to Anna's confession. His own had been an attempt to give her the closure she'd never had, to let her know that she'd done more for him than she could have imagined. He didn't know if he'd have made it through those long months without her fighting him, standing up to him, and giving him taste after taste of something he'd always wanted and was trying to escape. She hadn't let him escape.

He wouldn't look at her, wouldn't let her drag him into the pain he'd caused with a look that might break him and so he looked away. He straightened in his chair and leaned back, a lion at rest. She hadn't told him anything he hadn't already known.

"I can't fix it for you, Anna," he said softly. There was nothing in his power that he could do to make it better, to take it back.

[Annabelle Hennessy]

Anna gave Chase a smile that she didn't truly feel. "There's nothing left to fix. Life has a warped way of taking things out of our control, and I put it all behind me. I'm not the same broken girl I was a year ago." She wasn't, that much was true. She was broken in different ways now. She was glad they'd finally talked it out, that she'd finally gotten some of the answers she had assumed would never come, but she was afraid for herself if they didn't move on. She wasn't sure she would ever be strong enough to be immune to him. She didn't want to risk it, so she shifted the topic to her reason for being there.

"I had to leave Hogwarts last year, which if nothing else good, it got me away from everything here and then there was so much else..." She stopped, still unsure about how to approach the reason for her absence. "I guess you can say I just had other distractions." Her voice had gotten softer as she spoke so it was barely above a whisper.

She fiddled with the parchment in her hands for a moment before finding the strength within to put on a determined face and continue. "I didn't know you would be here. I'd assumed you'd graduated, then when I saw you I was just surprised and didn't really think... I, I didn't have any idea...." Annabelle gestured around the office, hoping he knew she hadn't intended to track him down. "I came back because I want to, NEED to finish my education. I just want to be able to find some type of normal life for myself."

She needed desperately to have something to cling to and in the absence of anything else, school would be something to work for. At the moment she had nothing; no friends to confide in, she'd been lying to her parents for a year, her bookstore probably wouldn't have any customers left when she opened it back up, she didn't even have a place to sleep other than her store's couch.

[Chase Firebrand]

"Then you're welcome back," Chase said, his eyes finding Anna again with the more comfortable topic. This he knew. This he could control and handle as well as anything else in his life. He sat forward now, his pose of leisure broken at the promise of being able to help in some way.

"You can go back to the Ravenclaw dorms today if you want, I'll take care of everything." He'd fix whatever records needed it, and he'd contact the Headmistress if there were any details he was unsure of.

[Annabelle Hennessy]

"Really!? Just like that I'm back in?" Annabelle's eyes widened in excited surprise. She had thought she would have had to beg, plead, or at least give explanations for her absence. She let out a sigh of relief as some of her worry melted away. She had a feeling all her encounters wouldn't go this smoothly, but she was grateful for this small miracle.

Reality swept back over her and she chewed on her lower lip as the joy melted from her face. "There's just one more thing...." She took a deep breath and spilled the other part of her dilemma with her rapid speech. "My parents think that I graduated this last year and that I'm staying at my bookstore, because they didn't know that I wasn't at school, but I'm of age now so is it possible for you to not inform them of anything??" Anna looked up at Chase with a pleading look, not even knowing if what she was asking was possible or legal.

[Chase Firebrand]

"Your secret is safe," Chase said, without a moment's thought to the technicalities, rules, and protocols. Anna was of legal age and so whatever the school's policies might be on such things, he would do whatever he had to in order to give her what she wanted. He would simply misplace her home address and send owls with her grades directly to her. It was the least he could do, and he had the power to make it happen.

"If there's anything else I can do for you, just tell me and it's yours." Chase knew what he was offering, anything from the littlest comfort to altering the system for her, but he was willing to do so.

[Annabelle Hennessy]

Annabelle felt as if a huge burden had been lifted from her shoulders. She was visibly more calmed then when she'd stepped into the office. It meant more then Chase would ever know to not have her parents find out and think badly of her. His offer of further assistance sounded genuine, but she didn't know if she could ever take him up on on it. The less contact she had with him would most likely be best, and he'd already done so much that she'd hate to take advantage.

"Thank you so much, I really appreciate the offer Chase. I mean, Professor Firebrand?" Her voice had a hesitant tone at the end, not sure exactly how to address the man in front of her.

[Chase Firebrand]

Chase only paused a moment before speaking. "Chase," he corrected her. It was improper, but he didn't care. He wasn't actually a professor and it would be ridiculous to make her call him Headmaster after the intimacies they'd shared. Of course, any students who tried to follow suit would find themselves in detention, but that could be dealt with if it happened.

Is that it, then? he wanted to ask. Business was finished and he'd closed some doors on the past, but he'd opened old wounds as well. Why was it that he wanted her to go on? He almost wanted a fight, wanted the ability to lose control that she'd always pushed him to. But no, he couldn't. His life was built around control now.

"If that's all," he began, and shifted, moving to stand. This was getting dangerous, if only in his own mind.

[Annabelle Hennessy]

Anna took the gestures as her cue to leave. She had accomplished everything she'd set out this morning to do, and then so much more. Absentmindedly, she licked her lips as she nodded her head and rose from her seat to leave. It all felt so surreal; being back, having Chase here in a position of authority over her, the talk they'd shared, his promise not to tell her parents. She didn't even have a clue how long she'd been in his office but her mind was still trying to catch up and take it all in.

"Oh, I nearly forgot. You'll probably need this for my file." She unrolled and held out the small piece of parchment for Chase and her cheeks heated with embarrassment. The official seal on the bottom of the page declaring it a document from St. Mungo's was clearly visible. She hated the wording, saying she'd been under the care of a healer for the past year but was now "cured" and able to resume all normal activities with no restrictions.

[Chase Firebrand]

Chase took the parchment and only gave it a cursory glance before setting it aside on his desk. He could read it later. Right now, it didn't affect anything, and it was enough to know that Anna was here and perhaps she had even forgiven him. He wanted to hold her, just for a minute he told himself, but he couldn't. He reminded himself of that as he extended his hand for a formal handshake. That would have to be enough contact.

[Annabelle Hennessy]

Annabelle tried to ready herself for the touch as she lifted her hand to shake his. Unsuccessful, her words of departure were forgotten before the first syllable hit her lips. The warmth and feel of his fingers against her palm sent a shiver down her body. She tried to repress the memories of those hands that flooded back to her like a tidal wave. Unable to resist the temptation to look up at him, her deep brown eyes locked with his and she immediately wished she hadn't.

It took all of her willpower to divert her eyes to his robes directly in front of her and at the same time not pull her hand away as though she'd been burned. This would definitely take some getting used to before Anna would be able to be unaffected like a normal student, or at least be able to act as though she were. This is bad, so very bad. I need to get out of here. She couldn't believe how much impact a simple handshake could have and waited for him to release her so she could flee.

[Chase Firebrand]

Chase couldn't release her. The contact was everything he'd wanted, but it only made him want more. His hand gripped Anna's, and after a moment of unbearable tension, he pulled her close, letting her hand go only to wrap his arms firmly around her. Just a minute or two, he told himself. You haven't done the paperwork, she's not a student yet. A flimsy excuse, he knew, but it eased his conscience.

[Annabelle Hennessy]

Anna was so shocked by the action that she stood there, wondering if this was some sort of crazy dream, and afraid she'd wake up alone in bed any moment. She couldn't remember the last time she'd had any physical contact beyond a handshake or a casual meaningless touch. After the initial shock, the warm security of his embrace engulfed her senses. Her arms wrapped around him on their own accord and she melted into his hold. Her cheek brushed against him as she inhaled his masculine scent.

[Chase Firebrand]

This is enough, Chase told himself, the words no comfort at all. She felt so good in his arms, temptation and danger, a sharp-edged knife that had cut him to the core time and again and left him whole somehow. He turned his head, breathing her in, appreciating her now when he couldn't have her more than he ever had when she'd thrown herself at him. He'd been too angry then, too determined to punish her for what Dru had done.

He couldn't do this, but he couldn't stop. He wanted to kiss her, to see if the memories were tainted with what had happened, if it had been that very anger that had made things so intense. He wanted it badly, but he couldn't take any more than he was now. He forced himself to release her, to step back. His eyes blazed with the desire to give in.

[Annabelle Hennessy]

The loss of contact hit her like a cold shower. She caught herself leaning towards him and took a step back herself. It was only a friendly welcome back hug. That's all, nothing more. but it had meant so much more to her. Anna knew she had to leave his office. She couldn't stay there all day, surely he had more important things to do, and she shouldn't be there. She chanced a look up at him, saw the heat of his gaze, and nearly melted.

"I, I," Annabelle wasn't sure at all what she'd been trying to say, her mind wasn't functioning properly. She finally managed a breathy, "Thanks, Chase," and forced her legs to carry her to the door. She opened it, then looked back over her shoulder at the man that would be haunting her dreams once again. She gave him a genuine smile before slipping out into the hall.