No One Lives Forever (Lyric/Jory)

[Trent Frey]

Lyric's lip curled up slightly. "You wanted me to talk about things I don't even want to think about," he said. "I went out and got something so I could talk to you and you were happy that morning. So I did it again. You were happy, I wanted you to be happy, and you left." Lyric looked away, hating the weakness and the misery, and unable to deal with it. He raised his hand, a tiny, smiling pill caught between his fingers, and pushed it between his lips. You said you wouldn't like me less, and you left. It was already too late for me then. It had been too late after that second night.

[Jory Addison]

"I was happy," Jory said. He didn't miss the pill that Lyric took, but there wasn't anything he could have done to stop it from disappearing behind Lyric's lips. "Even before we were together that first time. Don't you remember? We talked in my bed, and we kissed." He didn't remember everything going bad until after they had had sex.

[Trent Frey]

Lyric shrugged. He didn't remember much unless it had been intensely emotional. A side-effect of the drugs, he was sure, and one he liked. It meant he didn't have to think about anything unimportant, didn't have to remember names of people he'd only met a couple times or uneventful nights. It meant that even if part of him did remember, he could tell himself he didn't, and he could pretend he believed that. "It doesn't matter. You didn't want me anymore, you left, I moved on." He could pretend he believed that, too.

[Jory Addison]

"Who said I didn't want you?" Jory asked. "I did! I just...didn't know how to deal with it." And he had had Eros, and he hadn't had to worry about not touching him or anything like that. And now he could barely even say he wanted to be with Lyric again. "I'm sorry I didn't know what to do, Quinn said I couldn't understand, maybe she's right. But I still want you to be safe."

[Trent Frey]

Lyric shook his head, a motion that started slow, but was soon rapid denial. "What do you care?" he asked, forcing a sneer when he wanted to walk away. "I'm fine, I'm staying out of your way, just forget about me. You don't want me." The sex was secondary, at best. They'd had it, they'd failed, and he'd moved on enough to want it and let himself want it, despite the self-hatred. Jory was the only person he'd ever accepted as a friend, and he was never doing it again, not for anyone. Not when it had been such a failure.

[Jory Addison]

"Whether I want to be with you again or not doesn't matter. I just want you to be okay, somehow." Jory didn't think he was going to get anywhere with this conversation, though he didn't want to let it go. But...he was just saying the same thing again, and what good would that do? He shook his head and looked down at the cartridge in his hands.

[Trent Frey]

Jory didn't understand, and with the effects of that pill beginning to creep in, it seemed useless to argue. "I just wanted a friend," Lyric said. He wanted to cry, but he wanted to laugh, too. He wanted to walk away, but he wanted to beg for Jory to want him, in any context. He wanted to be accepted for who he was, even if he knew it was impossible. It was too much to ask.

[Jory Addison]

"I'll be your friend, if you'll let me," Jory said, looking up. He didn't think that there would be much more useful conversation happening, but at least this time hadn't ended in a fight or one of them storming off. That, at least, was better than last time, so much better than last time. "Do you want to try?" He wasn't sure that they could talk for long stretches of time, but maybe little conversations like this would help.

[Trent Frey]

"I always wanted to try," Lyric said, his hand rising again to wipe at his eyes. "But you don't like me how I am, and I don't want to change. I'm not going to change." He didn't need Jory to be able to imagine what it was like for him, if he could just accept that he acted the way he did for a reason, that he was real.

[Jory Addison]

"I'll try," Jory said. "But I don't want you to hurt yourself with all that stuff." He didn't know that he could be around Lyric when he was doing those things. "Are you going to be okay?" Did Lyric need someone with him since he had taken that pill? Jory didn't think so, but he knew next to nothing about drugs and what happened when people were on them.

[Trent Frey]

"I haven't killed myself yet," Lyric said, his first thought at the question of whether he'd be okay. He wasn't okay and he never would be, but for now, he was still technically among the living. His lips curved, though the smile didn't reach his eyes. "Nothing can hurt me but me," he said. He was impervious to criticism, to pain, and to the comedown he rarely let himself feel anymore.

[Jory Addison]

Jory managed a small smile, though he really didn't feel it, and he doubted that Lyric felt the words he had said. "Just...be safe, okay? We can talk sometime, right?" He wanted to get a promise they would meet again before he left, which he intended to do soon. The short conversation had taken all of his strength and he wanted to get out and he needed to recharge.

[Trent Frey]

"Yeah, talk," Lyric said absently. He'd probably forget before he remembered where he'd been going, but for now, he just wanted to find someplace quiet and peaceful, somewhere to sit down and be alone. He didn't know how Jory would find him again, but he didn't really care. He made his goodbyes and left, continuing in the direction he'd been heading, if not for the same goal.