Wistful Thinking (Anna/Markise)

[Markise Sterling]

He'd know that question was coming, and he decided he could tell her part of it, just as long as she didn't realize there was more to ask about. "My roommate made me stop," he said. He could have claimed his friend wanted him to stop, but that entire time before they'd gotten back together, he'd worked to think of Ariel as his roommate to keep distance between them.

[Annabelle Hennessy]

The look on Anna's face made it obvious that she was baffled. "Roommate? At home?" Her first thought was Brindle, but they were way too old to share a room. Besides, he would have called her his sister, not his roommate. Did his parents have someone else living there that he wasn't related to? She couldn't even begin to guess who he was talking about, so she waited for him to clear up who this roommate was before she let her mind make up too many scenarios.

[Markise Sterling]

An expletive shot through Markise's mind as he glanced back at Anna, then looked determinedly out over the water again. "I got an apartment so I wouldn't have to deal with my parents," he said, trying to think of who the hell he'd tell her his roommate was. "I got a friend to move in with me and share the rent." That was good for now. He'd let Anna ask for more while he tried to think up some answers and wished he hadn't even brought up the drinking, since it was so closely tied in to someone he shouldn't be talking about.

[Annabelle Hennessy]

Anna accepted that answer thinking it made much more sense that he had a roommate if he wasn't living at home. It also explained why he'd taken a job there when he had his clothing store already. "I'd ask why but even I was tossing around the idea this summer while I was cleaning the flat above my store. Even when we get along with them we need our space." She didn't think it was necessary to ask more details about the roommate since she didn't even know the names of his friends from New York. "Was it getting out of control then? Was that why he made you stop?"

[Markise Sterling]

Markise swept a strand of white-blond hair behind his ear, still looking carefully away from Anna. "I was drinking half a bottle of wine at night to relax," he said softly, but matter-of-factly. "It took a bottle to get drunk and I wasn't sick in the morning." He'd had a headache, but he hadn't blacked out and he hadn't vomited. It still didn't feel as bad as Ariel had made it out to be, but at least now he knew it was bad.

[Annabelle Hennessy]

"Oh Markise." Anna said with a sigh, reaching out and resting a hand on his leg and giving it a squeeze. "I had no idea, I wish I could have been there for you." She remembered something she'd read on alcoholism and relapses, and her concern for him doubled. "You know I'm here, for anything, if you ever need me right?" She wouldn't plant the seed of him going back to drinking now that he was away from his family and New York friends, and only hoped that he stayed away from his clubs and the environment that would suck him back into that habit if he let it.

[Markise Sterling]

Markise looked aside at Anna, his smile at her offer not quite reaching his eyes. "Thank you," he said. He opted not to tell her how close to the kitchens his Common Room was, or that he'd been getting cooking sherry for months before his switch to wine over the summer. It would only make her panic, and neither of them needed that. "I stopped, Anna. I'm fine. I'm not going out anymore, so don't worry." He had Ariel watching him if he slipped, though he hoped he didn't.

[Annabelle Hennessy]

"I'm happy for you, and I believe you. I'm just saying..." She paused, trying to find a way to offer her support that didn't make it seem like he was doomed to failure. She believed he could stay away from it all if he wanted to, but did he really want to? He'd told her before how much he'd lived for Friday nights, where he could get away and be himself. Would he be okay here without that? Would he be happy? "I'm just saying if you ever need a distraction, or even if you don't and just want to get away.... We could make a night of it. I could play with your hair, you could do my makeup...that sort of thing." She'd missed being able to just hang out with him, and they hadn't had many opportunites to have a girl's night.

[Markise Sterling]

Markise managed a smile again, but he wasn't really into the idea of hair and makeup right now. He was still more than a little depressed about the fact that he was blond again and he looked boring without any makeup. He had no eyelashes! Or at least, they weren't at all visible, soft gold against his tan. His smile faded.

"I can't get outed," he said softly, partly thinking aloud, partly talking to Anna. "I've got one year left, and if anyone found out, it would ruin everything." Kwami had left him when he'd come out, and he wouldn't risk losing Ariel that way.

[Annabelle Hennessy]

"Is that what this is about?" Anna gestured to his new makeup-free look in near disbelief. "You went all year last year being you, and you were fine. Don't get me wrong, I love your new look, but...." Anna trailed off, talking softer now than before. She didn't like seeing Markise so plaintive and hoped she'd get to the bottom of this change as well. "I don't want you to loose who you are. I like you for who you are - all of you. I would never do anything to compromise your secret, you have to know that. But when it's just us, alone in my bookstore or wherever, you'll still be the same old Markise won't you?"

[Markise Sterling]

Markise looked aside at Anna. "I wasn't me last year either. I was watered down, just not this much. I can't dye my hair here without people thinkin' I'm a f~, and the only makeup I wore was mascara." Lip gloss didn't count as long as you didn't apply it in front of other people. "It's the way things are, Anna. You think Angel would make it a week?" If she did, she'd be lying to herself.

[Annabelle Hennessy]

Anna gave a weak attempt at a smile and shook her head. "I know, but it stinks. I'm not foolish enough to think I even begin to grasp just how unfair the world is to you; and you'll always have to deal with this. I just hate that there isn't another way. I wish, I don't know. I just wish there was something I could do, so you could at least express yourself, Angel if you wanted, occasionally." It was a ridiculous notion. It sounded like he'd already given up all of his old ways of letting things out like he had last year with Friday nights. She'd have to think about it later and come up with something, it was the least she could do.

[Markise Sterling]

Markise shrugged. If there was anything he could do, he was sure he'd have thought of it by now. But he couldn't go clubbing anymore, and he wouldn't be satisfied with the Bloody Mary. Now he looked forward to work, to slipping into Diagon Alley after school and letting Ariel in for a time before opening. Closing and staying as much longer as he could justify. It wasn't a massive purge of built-up stress, but it was good, and it was keeping his stress lower as a whole.

[Annabelle Hennessy]

Anna sighed at the overwhelming feeling of helplessness. She turned and lay out on the grass next to him, resting her hands behind her head in a mock-relaxed pose. There was a while of silence before Annabelle finally broke it with her brooding thoughts. "Do you think this year will be any better than the last? I mean....It has to be doesn't it? I can't imagine it getting any worse." With everything that had happened, she didn't think there was anything left to go wrong for her. All she wanted was a quiet year, free of drama, where she could work towards her NEWTS and be done with all the selfish people within the Hogwarts walls.

[Markise Sterling]

"It can't get worse," Markise echoed. She didn't know, he reminded himself. He'd never told her the whole reason he'd broken up with Ariel in the first place, and now he was glad of it. It would be hard enough if she found out somehow to explain why he'd been such a hypocrite and taken him back, he would never have been able to explain how he got past things that were unforgivable.