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Post by Dare Blackwood-Hardt on Mar 7, 2009 21:36:23 GMT -5
Dare hadn't known where else he could find Markise. It was a sign of how much distance there was between them that not a single other place had seemed likely. He didn't even know where the Hufflepuff Common Room was to stalk him there. He didn't know where Markise was hanging out, or with whom. He had to eat, though. That was something that wouldn't change.
So here he was, staking out the Great Hall from an alcove outside it. He'd already been in and gotten something to eat, as quickly as possible after his last class, but Markise hadn't been there, and hadn't come in at any point during his meal. Or at least Dare hadn't seen him at the Hufflepuff table.
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Post by Markise Sterling on Mar 7, 2009 21:44:30 GMT -5
Markise hadn't been at the Hufflepuff table. He rarely was anymore, since he'd started hanging out with Annabelle so much. He'd been surrounded by Ravenclaws, and he'd been wearing his robes still, from a presentation he'd had in Transfiguration.
When he walked into the Entrance Hall with Anna, he didn't see Dare standing nearby. He gave Annabelle a brief hug, told her he'd see her after school, then waved her off to her class. He had a break period between lunch and History of Magic, and he wanted to run up to the Common Room and drop off his robes. He had regular clothes underneath, but didn't at all feel like trying to cram a mass of cloth into his book bag. He headed off in the opposite direction from Annabelle.
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Post by Dare Blackwood-Hardt on Mar 7, 2009 22:27:08 GMT -5
Dare had blinked at seeing Markise with Annabelle, and in school robes, no less. He stood in stunned silence for some moments before he realized that Markise was walking away. As little as he wanted to do this, he had to, and not just for Michael. Not just for Markise. Seeing Markise, seeing him and knowing Michael not only accepted, but somehow encouraged this, took away the guilt and left only the longing to get back some part of what he remembered, some part of what he'd seen in that picture.
He'd hidden that sketchbook, but he'd taken the picture out just last night. It had lived in his wallet for some time back in fifth year, but he'd stuck it in his sketchbook after the winter dance. He'd had that picture of Markise with Apple in their best dress robes then.
Now the picture was back, though in a different place from where he'd kept it then. Michael had the position of honor in the sleeve where he'd always kept the Muggle money he used for clubbing. A picture of Michael lounging like a lazy aristocrat on Emilian's elegant couch was there, Michael's arms crossed and one brow arched, a smirk teasing at his lips. Another picture was behind that, which he only took out when he knew he was alone.
The picture of Markise was tucked into another opening, but it weighed heavy in his pocket, and on his mind. Mano, he told himself. He was supposed to be warning Markise about Mano, even if he had no real idea what to say. Dare cleared his throat, then stepped out of the alcove, calling after Markise.
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Post by Markise Sterling on Mar 8, 2009 20:26:49 GMT -5
Markise started at the sound of his name, and had to turn to be sure that it was who he already knew it was. What was Dare doing running him down outside the Great Hall? What would Dare be doing running him down anywhere? They hadn't so much as spared a glance for each other since he'd stopped escorting Dare between classes, and even then they hadn't spoken. The last time they'd spoken more than a word, Dare had been threatening him bodily harm, and he'd been making someone else's promises.
Markise had several flickering thoughts, but none of them made any more sense than the others, and so he only looked at Dare cautiously. And waited for whatever it was that Dare wanted.
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Post by Dare Blackwood-Hardt on Mar 8, 2009 20:32:56 GMT -5
Dare's steps slowed at the look on Markise's face. He saw a complete lack of excitement or interest, only watchfulness. Distrust? It hurt, even if he'd known, even if he'd told himself, and even Michael, that there was nothing left. His face fell, but he made himself keep walking, glancing once around at the crowd and wishing he could have found Markise anywhere else. Someplace where they could have been alone.
He didn't stop until he was right in front of Markise, and the urge to keep his gaze lowered, something that worked so much better with Michael, was defeated by the fact that Markise was half a foot shorter than him. Inwardly, he winced.
"I want to talk to you," he said. What if Markise didn't want to talk to him? What would he do then?
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Post by Markise Sterling on Mar 8, 2009 20:36:31 GMT -5
Markise blinked in momentary surprise. His body was in an uproar at how close Dare had gotten, and all his self-proclaimed immunity to anything that had to do with Dare died. He'd been convincing himself that he didn't feel anything anymore, and all it took was those few words to put him right back where he'd started. I want to talk to you.
"What do you want to talk about?" Markise asked. He couldn't for the life of him figure it out on his own, so he hoped that Dare could just come out with it. For all he knew the potions had damaged his brain. God, he hoped not. Markise waited expectantly.
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Post by Dare Blackwood-Hardt on Mar 8, 2009 20:48:40 GMT -5
If Dare wasn't already so disheartened, the distance in Markise's voice surely would have done it. He'd seen that flicker of surprise, and he felt horrible for how badly he'd treated Markise and how easily he'd pushed him aside. He didn't know how it could have been any different, though! He'd felt like he had to choose between Markise and Michael, and he couldn't conceive of not having chosen Michael.
He was still confused by Michael's sudden encouragement to go back and fix this. Maybe he'd proved well enough that he only wanted Michael, maybe Michael had only needed to be sure that there was nothing left before he could trust him. To all appearances, that had been what happened. Dare was still very off-kilter, and it all seemed perfectly reasonable to him, if bewildering.
"I want to talk about us," he managed. "You, us, I don't know. I just need to talk to you."
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Post by Markise Sterling on Mar 8, 2009 20:55:03 GMT -5
Markise silently cursed Dare, even as he turned his gaze away, hiding the sudden spring of tears to his eyes. I want to talk about us. It only hurt so much to hear it because he'd wanted to hear it so much. His mind started throwing scenarios at him, just like it always had when Dare had said something so unutterably perfect. It was never what he thought it was. Never, aside from one afternoon in Dare's basement.
Markise nodded. "We can talk," he managed. He blinked a couple times to clear his eyes, then looked around the hall for a likely place. There was too much traffic, though. If they slipped into a classroom, someone would see them. Markise looked up at Dare. "Walk with me?" he asked. If Dare wanted to talk about them, no matter what that really meant, they should have some privacy from the rumor mill.
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Post by Dare Blackwood-Hardt on Mar 8, 2009 21:11:11 GMT -5
Dare had seen a flash of emotion before Markise turned away, but it was too fast to identify it, and then he was nodding and walking alongside Markise through the Entrance Hall. His mind wasn't looking ahead right now, and all he could think was that he didn't want to talk while he had to watch where he was going instead of watching Markise and trying to judge whether he'd ruined things beyond repair. It certainly felt like it.
Dare didn't want to talk while they were walking, but since he had to, he would. He was having trouble sorting his thoughts, something painfully constant over the past weeks since he'd stopped taking his potions. He decided he needed to introduce the subject though. Quickly, like pulling off a bandage. "Michael doesn't mind if we're friends now," he said.
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Post by Markise Sterling on Mar 8, 2009 21:14:44 GMT -5
Markise actually stopped in place at that. Emotion tore through him; hurt, pain, sadness, jealousy, anger, frustration so thick that he had to close his eyes to even begin to gather himself. Michael doesn't mind.
Markise's lips pressed tightly together, and a thousand retorts sprang to mind, begging his tongue to be let loose. I'm so glad I have his f~ing permission. Did you finally learn a memory modification spell? Thanks for proving to me that it has nothing to do with what you want, I hadn't picked that up over the past four months. Go to hell! Come back when Michael doesn't matter anymore!
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Post by Dare Blackwood-Hardt on Mar 8, 2009 21:28:28 GMT -5
Dare stopped as soon as he realized that Markise had, and panic started to well up. What had he said? He couldn't remember, and he chastised himself for not having planned out what he'd wanted to say. "Markise? Are you all right? Whatever I said, I'm sorry. Can we just... just keep going?" Not walking-- he didn't care about walking --but he didn't want Markise to refuse to talk to him, not this quickly. Not before he'd really had a chance.
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Post by Markise Sterling on Mar 8, 2009 21:32:07 GMT -5
It was all Markise could do not to open his eyes and glare fiercely up at Dare. Yeah, I'm fine, I love hearing that my ex-best friend is only talking to me because his fiancé gave him permission!
"I'm fine, Dare," he said at last. "Totally and completely copacetic." He opened his eyes, then started walking again without warning. If Dare wanted to f~ing talk to him, he could f~ing work for it.
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Post by Dare Blackwood-Hardt on Mar 8, 2009 21:43:22 GMT -5
Now Dare knew something was wrong. He'd known he said something stupid before, but Markise's words told him that it was far more than that. Copacetic was fine. It was completely satisfactory. But Totally copacetic had always been meant as irony. Dare turned after Markise immediately, his longer steps catching up with little effort. "What's wrong?" he asked, stealing as many looks at Markise as he could without the risk of walking into someone. "Come on, talk to me. I want you to talk to me."
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Post by Markise Sterling on Mar 8, 2009 21:46:06 GMT -5
"No, Dare, you do not want to talk to me," Markise said sharply, keeping his voice low enough not to carry. "Michael said you could, and if I'm some kind of charity project, you can f~ off because I can take care of myself!" Despite what Dare had said that last day of true lucidity in the Bloody Mary. Markise had done just fine taking care of himself. He had a friend again, and he hadn't gotten gang-raped or murdered while he was out clubbing.
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Post by Dare Blackwood-Hardt on Mar 8, 2009 21:48:38 GMT -5
Dare was nonplussed. "No, no you're not charity, Markise! I want to talk to you! I just thought I couldn't before, but now I can and I want to figure something out! I don't want to crap on you, I just want to talk!" Did Markise really think that Dare had stopped him so he could criticize him? Maybe he was talking to Markise because Michael said he could, but that didn't mean he didn't want to!
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