Without You (Michael/Adara)

[Adara Snow]

Adara sat beside the lake, again in the spot where she'd first met Emilian, looking out over the water. In her mind, she wasn't at Hogwarts, but in Germany with Emilian, snug beneath the coverlet on her bed. Her hair danced around her shoulders, the occasional dark tendril floating up near her jaw as the breeze toyed with it. She could feel it, she wasn't in her dream world, but she was lost all the same. So lost.

[Michael Blackwood-Hardt]

Michael was torn when he saw Adara there by the lake. He wanted so very badly just to go on to Hogsmeade, but he couldn't bring himself to do it without going and seeing her. Surely the weeks had been horrible for her since Emilian had gone. After a few long seconds of debate, he sighed and stepped over to her. "Mind if I sit?" he asked, gesturing down beside of her. He wasn't about to just say hi and leave, either, she deserved more than that.

[Adara Snow]

Adara blinked, then tilted her chin up, dark eyes focusing on Michael's face. Her lips curved gently, though her eyes remained bittersweet. "Please do, Michael," she said softly. Adara looked back at the lake a moment, tucking away her fantasy, then closed the open journal in her lap, resting it on the grass beside her, out of Michael's way. She didn't volunteer her thoughts just yet, but waited for Michael to be seated, trying to think of what would be appropriate to say.

[Michael Blackwood-Hardt]

Michael took the spot beside Adara and settled his back down at his side as he looked at her, taking in the look in her eyes. He couldn't imagine what it was like for her to be away from Emilian. "How have you been?" he asked, settling his wrists on his crossed legs, his fingers dropping to the grass in front of him.

[Adara Snow]

"Lonesome," Adara sighed, though she knew the polite response should have been, very well, thank you. She was not doing very well, thank you, despite the fact that her grades remained high. Adara's hands rose, and she wrapped her arms lightly around herself, crossing over her waist. "I feel alone," she said, unable to properly describe the mix of feelings. She had been living with Emilian, sleeping with him, and she was so accustomed to constant physical contact, a touch, a kiss, a soft caress as she passed by, that every part of her felt empty from the loss of it.

[Michael Blackwood-Hardt]

Michael opened his lips to say that he couldn't imagine, only to realize that he could. If Dare left, he would feel just the same, even though they hadn't been together for nearly as long as Adara and Emilian. He could imagine, he just didn't want to imagine suddenly being completely cut off from Dare. "Have you been writing to each other?" he asked, he had only gotten a simple reply to his own letter to acknowledge that he and Dare were staying in the shop.

[Adara Snow]

"I have," Adara replied, "but I have gotten no response. I can only assume that my letters have not reached him." She wouldn't assume that Emilian had simply not responded. She knew how he felt about her, and even if her father kept him busy from dawn to dusk, he would take the time to write her by candlelight. Adara swept her hands lightly against her sides, but it was no use. It simply wasn't the same as the pressure of Emilian's hands, the strength of his arms around her.

[Michael Blackwood-Hardt]

Michael's eyebrows came together at that, he knew that his own letter had been sent very soon after Emilian had left, though, so perhaps that was the reason he had gotten a response but Adara hadn't. He hoped so, at least, he was letting himself think that their relationship would survive the separation, however unlikely he would have thought it to be not a year before. "I'm sure you'll get something soon enough."

[Adara Snow]

Adara nodded, though she didn't believe that she would. She would continue to send her letters, however. If one made it to Emilian, it would be worth the effort. Adara shifted her gaze from the lake, looking a moment at Michael before dropping her eyes to the grass in front of her. "It is very cold without him," she said softly. The breeze was cool, but the air was still warm, and so her meaning must have been clear, with her arms wrapped around herself the way they were. She didn't know if she should ask Michael to hold her, just for a short while so she could feel close to someone. She didn't know if she could ask, and so she didn't, but part of her hoped that he might think to offer.

[Michael Blackwood-Hardt]

Michael sighed softly as he looked at Adara, and he silently hoped Dare wouldn't mind as he shifted closer to her and put an arm around her. "I'm sure he's thinking about you," he said softly and honestly. He couldn't imagine Emilian not thinking about her, even if he was only thinking about how long it had been since they had been together. For Emilian, though, that would be like singing to the rooftops that he missed her.

[Adara Snow]

"Thank you, Michael," Adara murmured. She couldn't seem to stop herself from leaning closer to him, resting her head just in the crook of his shoulder. If Emilian were there, she would never have done so, knowing his disapproval. But Emilian wasn't there, and she was lonely and desperate for human contact. She closed her eyes, listening to the steady beat of his heart and trying to pretend, though she knew it was wrong, that he was Emilian. She couldn't, of course, not entirely, not when Michael was so warm, so slender. But she could pretend.

[Michael Blackwood-Hardt]

Michael was glad that he had done something to help her, even if he felt just the slightest bit awkward knowing that he was with Dare, but had his arm around someone else. But it was the right thing to do, and Dare would understand, since he knew at least some of what Adara and Emilian were having to go through. He didn't know what to say then, didn't know how else to help her other than to just give what comfort he could.

[Adara Snow]

The strength of Michael's arm around her, the sound of his heartbeat, comforted her enough to cope. Adara knew that Emilian would disapprove, but she could not think of why, and so she refused to let the discomfort ruin actually being with someone, albeit in an entirely different fashion from any way she'd ever been with Emilian. Emilian was her teacher, her lover, her love. Michael was a dear friend. There was no confusion in her mind. Adara sighed, then opened her eyes to look across Michael's shirt, back out toward the lake. "Do you think he will be strong enough?" Adara asked quietly. It was her greatest fear. Not whether her father would break him--Emilian was far too strong for that--but whether Emilian would seek company without her near.

[Michael Blackwood-Hardt]

Michael's insides froze at that, the one question he had hoped wouldn't come up. The very honest answer was no, but that was only because he couldn't help but remember how Emilian had once been. But people can change, and he knew that Emilian had a great deal, at least as far as Adara was concerned. Michael refused to lie and give her a yes, so he settled for "I hope so." He knew it wasn't what she wanted to hear, but it was the best he could do. "I think that he really cares for you and will try as hard as he can." Adara knew, if not as well as Michael, close to it, how hard it would be for Emilian to resist for such a long time.

[Adara Snow]

Adara nodded her head lightly. "I know," she said softly. She knew very well Emilian's tendency to lose control, and Michael's words were only a comfort as far as knowing that he had tried. She knew that Emilian would try for her, but how far would that get him? And, if something happened, would he even tell her? Adara gave a light sigh at the thought. She didn't believe he would. She was sure that she would know somehow, but she did not think that Emilian would tell her unless she asked.