Another Night In (Michael/Dare)

[Michael Blackwood-Hardt]

Michael nodded, he would be okay, eventually. At least by the time Dare came out perhaps he would be over it enough to let everything be fine between them. "Yes," he said, meeting Dare's eyes for a moment more before looking away again. He just needed time to think, that was all, he would be fine once he had the chance to think it all over. And if not, then at least one of them would be more relaxed once Dare came back, he hoped.

[Dare Blackwood-Hardt]

Dare watched Michael for a minute, trying to determine through his own frustration whether Michael was telling the truth. He damn well hoped so. Dare turned at last, disappearing into the bathroom and shutting the door behind him. The lock clicked, and within moments, the sound of the shower began.

[Michael Blackwood-Hardt]

Michael stared at the door for a few long minutes, then let out a long sigh as he rubbed his face with his hands. He couldn't possibly understand everything that had happened, but he sat there for another few minutes, thinking it over and trying. He knew that if he let himself that he would stay there the rest of the day turning it over and over in his mind, so he tried to think of what to do instead, quickly ruling out drawing. One thing he didn't want was for Dare to come back and see a page or two of him in Michael's book.

On a sweep of the room, Michael's eyes caught on an upright piano up against one of the walls. He sighed, it wasn't something he had been doing often, but he knew himself well enough to know that it would help his mind calm down and let his muscles relax some. So he pulled himself out of the bed and went over to it, ignoring the urge to sit back down on the bed and wait for Dare, and sat to play.

[Dare Blackwood-Hardt]

Dare had heard the sound of the piano even before he turned off the water. He'd listened as he fixed his hair, packed his things back into his bag, then turned toward the door, drawing a deep breath. With physical relaxation had come a great deal of clarity, and he'd been able to think about everything he'd said. He could feel the emotions in the sounds of the music, and felt highly responsible for Michael's mood. Dare knew he could have handled things a lot better than he had.

At last, Dare opened the bathroom door, pulling it softly shut behind him as he entered the room. His eyes sought Michael, sought that easy grace that fascinated him, those fingers moving apparently effortlessly over the keys. Dare set down his bag, then slid up behind Michael, giving him a moment to sense Dare's presence. Then he bent, slipping his arms lightly around Michael's waist. Dare closed his eyes a moment, then murmured, "I'm sorry."

[Michael Blackwood-Hardt]

Michael closed his eyes and his hands stopped moving across the keys, and he let his arms fall to rest on Dare's. He whispered a soft it's okay and leaned back slightly into Dare. The I'm sorry that threatened to come out was bit back as Dare's words came back to him stop being sorry, even if they hadn't been meant that way. "I don't know why I was like that," he said softly, keeping his eyes closed tight.

[Dare Blackwood-Hardt]

Dare rested his chin lightly on Michael's shoulder, then turned his head to press a soft kiss to the edge of Michael's jaw. "I wish I knew how to help," Dare said, keeping his voice down, wanting to stay away from any reminder of what an ass he'd been. "Stuff like that was always pretty cool to talk about in my house. I mean, Dad never really got into it, but he and Mom were..." Dare sighed, unsure if he was even making sense.

Dare straightened a bit, then shifted to sit backwards on the piano bench beside Michael, leaving his arms around him. He wanted to see Michael, wanted to see his amazingly expressive eyes and know when he was getting too close. "Can I ask you a question?" Dare asked, unsure whether he should. It was intensely personal, but this was Michael, and Dare wanted Michael to know he could tell Dare anything.

[Michael Blackwood-Hardt]

Michael opened his eyes and looked up at Dare, nodding though he was almost afraid of what he question would be. "What is it?" he asked, trying to guess what he was going to ask and linking what Dare had said before to what had happened. It definitely hadn't been something that was talked about in his house, other than by Emilian, and Emilian wasn't really a good one to base things off of.

[Dare Blackwood-Hardt]

Dare weighed his words for a moment, wanting to be sure he didn't say anything stupid. "Did you ever have anyone to talk about this kind of stuff with? Besides Emilian?" he asked. He couldn't imagine not being able to even talk about it, but looking at Michael's sketchbook had given Dare insight into a sense of isolation beyond his own. Dare had always been an outsider, but he'd almost always had someone to talk to, even if it was only Silver, even if it was only basic conversation.

Dare swept one hand lightly against Michael's waist, comforting and encouraging. He had a strong feeling that Michael hadn't ever talked to anyone about sex or anything, that he'd only listened to others. It was mind-blowing thinking that, but really, who would Michael have asked if he'd had a question? The cold man and delicate woman in the drawings? Emilian? Or would he tell himself not to wonder and distract himself? Dare suspected the last.

[Michael Blackwood-Hardt]

Michael looked away from Dare, looking down at the piano keys. He shook his head , the few times he and that one cousin he had had talked didn't count. His mother hadn't thought it her job to tell him, his father...why should he explain to his son that kind of thing? He crossed his arms over his stomach and kept his eyes away from Dare. "It wasn't an appropriate topic of conversation," he said, repeating something he had heard a few times in his past.

[Dare Blackwood-Hardt]

Dare blinked. That was an interesting take on things. Dare knew there were people like that, but he hadn't really hung out with them much. Or maybe they hadn't hung out with him. Dare pulled Michael closer and lowered his head slightly, trying to catch Michael's gaze. "You can talk to me about it," he said. "You can ask me anything--anything--and I swear I won't judge you. I won't blow you off. Anything, Michael." Dare had never judged Michael by anything but what he was now, someone intelligent, thoughtful, loving and trustworthy. "There's no stupid questions, I swear."

[Michael Blackwood-Hardt]

It suddenly struck Michael how odd it was that he was the one older than Dare, but Dare was the one offering to tell Michael about everything. He shook his head softly, he couldn't imagine talking to Dare about it, couldn't think of anything to ask. What was there to ask, anyway? His eyes turned up to look at Dare, but he just felt awkward at even the idea of asking anything, should he think of something. He looked back down at the keys, "I'm okay."

[Dare Blackwood-Hardt]

Dare lifted his hand, catching Michael lightly under the chin and drawing his gaze back up. "You can say that all you want Michael, but I know you," he said softly. "Please, talk to me. Right now, this is an appropriate topic of conversation. I want to talk about it." It made more sense now why Michael shied so badly. They'd come so far--Michael had come so far--but they'd reached a point physically where things couldn't progress. Things still ended with Michael feeling bad about things far too often.

[Michael Blackwood-Hardt]

"Then talk, there's nothing I want to say," Michael said, meeting Dare's eyes, he really had no idea what to say on it. He wasn't used to talking about it, how was he supposed to just all of a sudden start? It wasn't like he had a list of things he wanted to say. He sighed and shrugged lightly, unsure how he was supposed to talk about it with no real idea about what Dare wanted.

[Dare Blackwood-Hardt]

Dare looked into Michael's eyes, but he didn't look mad so much as lost, and at least marginally frustrated. Then talk. "All right," Dare said, nodding lightly. "I'll talk." He gave it a second's thought, then decided there was nothing to it but to do it. Dare took a deep breath, then released it, his nerves due far more to Michael's possible censure and probable discomfort than the subject matter. "I want to have sex some day," he said simply. There was a bottom line, a place to start. "I want to be with you, and if you're never okay with it, then we'll never do it and I'll be just as happy with you. But I want to. Some day." Dare inclined his head slightly, hoping Michael would turn his monologue into a conversation, but preparing himself to go on all the same.

[Michael Blackwood-Hardt]

Michael was silent, thinking through everything before even considering speaking. None of his other relationships had progressed to the point that theirs had, so he had never had to really think about it before. He opened his lips once to speak, but closed them again, dropping his eyes as he tried to think of what to say. He felt something close to discomfort at knowing that Dare would be just as happy without it, because it felt wrong to not agree when Dare wanted it. "I'll be okay with it," he said, though it was hard to imagine being completely comfortable with it. Surely he would be, though, eventually.