Corrupt a Wish

[Dare Blackwood-Hardt]

Granted, but instead you're studying his lesser-known masterpiece, Juliet's Bum, a tale of an alternate universe where Juliet never married Romeo and ended up Verona's resident skank when Paris died of a drug overdose the morning they were supposed to get hitched. And you're assigned a 50-page essay on it.

I wish I wasn't sleepy.

[Noelle Lange]

granted but in return you will never again be sleepy or sleep and walk the world aimlessly looking for something to fill all of your time with

I wish I didn't have to go back to the National Gallery of Art with my school

[Dare Blackwood-Hardt]

Granted, but that's because your school burned down, and you've been transferred to some school in the ghetto where you die in a drive-by pencil sharpening.

I wish I didn't have my morning class today.

[Markise Sterling]

Granted, but you fail for poor attendance.

I wish I had a time-turner.

[Annabelle Hennessy]

Granted, but it's broken so it's just a funny looking necklace.

I wish I could go to the NKOTB concert tonight!

[Markise Sterling]

Granted, but since you're right next to the crazy chick on the left, your feet keep getting stepped on. (Not like you probably care, since you're at a friggin NKOTB concert)

I wish I had my life all straightened out.

[Annabelle Hennessy]

Granted, but you get bored of your perfect life with your perfect job and your perfect house and your perfect wife and your perfect kids and your perfect dog and your perfect white picket fence.

I wish I had one of those perfect things, well other than the dog or the fence

[Markise Sterling]

Granted, you get the perfect wife. Unfortunately, your marriage isn't recognized in most places, so you've got to pack up and move in order to get her.

I wish my grow light was already installed over my desk.

[Annabelle Hennessy]

Granted, but the electricity goes out right after you install it, so you don't know if it works or not.

I wish I had a staff of wonderful people to do things for me like cook, clean, give me a massage, drive me around, watch my child, and so on.

[Markise Sterling]

Granted, but they're kleptos, and soon you don't have anything left for them to cook, clean, drive, or watch. And so on.

I wish I'd had this damn grow light a month ago! It kicks ass!

[Annabelle Hennessy]

Granted, but it really makes you grow, and soon you are so tall that you have to hunch over to walk around your house.

I wish I had a Magikal Quill that would rewrite all the assignments out of the book for me so I would just have to revise them.

[Markise Sterling]

Granted, but the quill has a twisted sense of humor, so everything it writes comes out either sarcastic or flat out inappropriate.

I wish I was getting A's in all my classes.

[Annabelle Hennessy]

Granted, but you had to do censored things to achieve those A's....with every one of your teachers.

I wish that Mr. M was still your teacher for you to work for the above A's with.....

[Markise Sterling]

Granted, but I get A's even for the subjects that I don't "work for the above A's with." And a super-A from Mr. M. ;D

I wish that you had a thumbnail picture list of the 100 hottest firefighters in the U.S. with their phone numbers and hobbies. *returns the favor*

[Annabelle Hennessy]

Granted, but it takes several years to work through the whole list.

I wish I could have a night with Jared Leto.